Monday, June 29, 2009

MJ Climbs A Tree

Such a rare glimpse into the "real" Michael Jackson. This will most likely be the last post on MJ for a while. Thanks to all of you who put up with it, and blogging about the man really isn't much of a tribute but we really lost a great one last week. Rest In Peace Michael.

Thursday, June 25, 2009


Michael Jackson died today at the age of 50. Some people think he's a creepy pedophile but the fact of the matter is this man gave more to music than almost any other person over the span of his career. There will most definitely be a tribute mix to follow soon. Sad day for musc. RIP MJ.

Set and Setting

They (and I) say the most important things when you're embarking on a hallucinogenic voyage is set and setting. I think it's safe to say tent outside of parking lot is not the best setting. In terms of setting having a douchebag outside your tent saying you can't handle the acid you took definitely follows in the not so good category. In fairness she did have some words of wisdom with the "sex, sex, baby baby, die die boom boom." Truth.

Gooby Is Real. Very, Very Real

Looks like a winner. Altough, I guarantee it's still better than "Knowing."

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Hangover

Ahhh "The Hangover." Was this the best comedy of the year? I sure fucking hope not. See now, the problem with "The Hangover" is the pre-hype and the post-hype. It wasn't a bad movie but by no stretch of the imagination was it a good movie. It sits comfortably in between right at average funny movie. Zach Galifiniakis (dude with the beard) was the shining beacon of hilarity in an otherwise meandering yarn about a trip to Vegas. Just how average of a movie was it? Even Ed Helms wasn't good in it. In fact, several times his character was just plain annoying. Bradley Cooper was good I guess but really a non-factor if you ask me. Sure, there are some funny scenes in it (mainly with Galifiniakis) but overall this movie isn't as good as everyone is telling you it is. I don't know if it's the previews or just peer pressure but comparing it to a movie like the recent "I Love You Man" or even the under the radar "Hot Rod" this movie ain't all that. See it if you must but if you don't you're not missing anything special.

Official Hard Peaches rating: 5.6/10

Monday, June 22, 2009


Every so often a movie comes along that changes your life. This is one of those movies. To say it's unbelievable is an understatement. Just let the words of Roger Ebert do the talking,

"Knowing" is among the best science-fiction films I've seen -- frightening, suspenseful, intelligent and, when it needs to be, rather awesome.

The only part of that I'd disagree with is the entire statement. "Knowing" is hands down one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my entire life. And trust me, I've seen a lot of shitty fucking movies. To try to encapsulate just how bad this movie is, is truly impossible. The plot is simple enough. Nicolas Cage is an astro-physicist who's a single father. At his son's school they dig up a time capsule from 50 years prior. His son receives an envelope with all these numbers written on a piece of paper. Through divine intervention or maybe just a horrible screenplay Cage figures out that the numbers are prophetic. So on and so forth. Standard apocalyptic Hollywood nonsense. That alone is hardly grounds for calling it one of the worst movies ever. The thing about "Knowing" is that almost everything about it is bad. It's long, it's pedantic, it's forced, it's stupid, it's hackneyed pretty much any word you can think of to describe a horrible movie that's what it is. The last half-hour of the movie is truly unbelievable. It's just...I can't even describe. What I will say is if you really dislike somebody recommend that they watch this movie because I'm pretty sure they switched over to showing this to prisoners at Gitmo after they were forced to stop waterboarding people. I'll leave you with this highly accurate quote from Ty Burr of the Boston Globe:

It's a Nicolas Cage movie, so, admit it, you're expecting crazy. You have no idea.

Official Hard Peaches rating: .1/10


This is how I felt right after watching "Knowing" minus the remote "stuff."

"Do you want me to hate my life!?"

Friday, June 19, 2009

Your 3 Guys Dancing Oddly To Ocarina Of Time of the Day (PAUSE)

This is not gay. This is hilarious. If you don't enjoy the "Ocarina of Time" music then just do yourself a favor and never come to this blog again.

Wale feat. Mike Posner, Big Sean & Kenn Starr - Wonder Why (prod. 9th Wonder) [Final Version]

Check out Kenn Starr (his blog is featured in the Linktastic section which I know you all go to religiously) on a Wale track entitled "Wonder Why." Yezzur.

DOWNLOAD LINK ------> Wale feat. Mike Posner, Big Sean & Kenn Starr - Wonder Why

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I Think I Might...

I designed these myself. Not a whole lot going on except reppin' strong here. I like this shoe but I'm as of yet undecided.

These Cats Are Totally Like A Metaphor For Legalization...Man

This is why I'm against legalization. Although they were pretty frisky and playful.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Celebrity Hotness Scale: Megan Fox

It's the age-old debate. How hot is a celebrity? I mean, really? The mere fact that a celebrity is a celebrity most likely guarantees a certain base-level of hotness. That much is a given. But then it gets complicated. This isn't the "would you hit it?" test. That test has no bearing in the celebrity hotness query. The real question is, "is this (in this case and in every case that will be discussed here) female celebrity worthy of all the attention being thrown her way?" The issue is highlighted with the newest "it" girl Megan Fox. I guess there's some other "it" girls right now but I don't watch "Twilight" so whatever. Now, Megan Fox is hot. You see this girl on the street she's a 10. But on the celebrity hotness scale I'm not seeing her actual hotness fall in line with what she's being credited for. I even saw that someone said she's the next Angelina Jolie in terms of being a universal sex symbol. Granted, I may have seen that on a homeless guys cardboard message sign but nevertheless. Me personally? I use a celebrity sliding hotness scale (because these are the things I come up with in my spare time) that takes into account their actual attractiveness and the fact that they are being sold to us as consumers as the ultimate in terms of sexiness and hotness. On my scale Ms. Fox is sitting at a solid 8. Guess what people, poll time. Adhering to the celebrity hotness scale how hot is Megan Fox?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Note to Lady: You Are Not Maintaining Your Dignity

This may be the worst idea I've ever seen. Maybe if they used cartoon bears like the Charmin commercials it would have been a little more palatable (bad choice of words) but ummm, GROSS!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Ciara Is Not Not Hot

Hey when your album gets pushed backed like twelve times and ultimately ends up being pretty lackluster it helps to have a body like Ciara's. Niiiiiiiiice.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Picture of the Day

That's racist!

Open Letter to TimeWarner Cable

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing today to express my feeling that you are hands down, by far the worst cable company in the history of cable companies. Let me preface this by saying I have dealt with no less than 4 different cable companies the past several years. Therefore, I feel I have the experience and knowledge to back up my claim. Here are several reasons why you are the worst:

Firstly, why would you not offer NFLN? I don't care about MLBTV or NBATV. Those sports are garbage and I'd gladly trade 100 of my channels for NFLN. I don't care what the details are get your thumbs out of your collective asses and fix this.

Second, how the fuck are you gonna charge me $40 to come pick up my cable box because it's broken. I didn't break it, you gave me a shitty cable box and now you want to charge me to come and pick it up? I really hate you.

Third, why are you the only cable company that I can get? I live in NYC and you're telling me I only have one choice when it comes to cable? This is insane? Everywhere else I have ever lived there are at least two choices when it comes to cable providers. I don't know who's D you're S'ing but I hope you get VD.

In summation, you're the worst and I hope terrible things happen to you.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

One Person Can Change The World

Or just get a bunch of drugged up hippies to start dancing. Either or.

"Irrational" Fear of Flying

Today, we'll be dealing with what some refer to as an "irrational" fear of flying. Proponents of the term "irrational fear" when dealing with boarding commercial airliners often point to the probability of actually encountering a mishap that leads to a plane crashing. People often bring up that "car crashes are much more statistically probable than a plane crash." OK, fair enough. I will acknowledge that car crashes are more likely than commercial airline crashes, however, more people drive than fly. That's a fact Jack. In addition how many people out there get knives thrown at their heads for a circus act? I bet the probability of people dying from knives being thrown at their heads for the majority of us is really low. Even the circus performers probably rarely die. You want to go try that out? Right.

The overarching point of this is I am what you would call apprehensive when it comes to flying. I'll fly if I have to but if I do I'm putting back at least 3 Tanqueray and Tonics before I board. I know there are way more easy and probable ways to die but fuck if I'm gonna up my chance by getting on one of these death flights. I once read the book "Airframe" but Michael Chrichton and that pretty much sealed the deal on my "irrational fear." Actually, no it didn't "Air Emergency" the show sealed the deal. I just don't trust it and if that makes it irrational then so be it.