Showing posts with label Sexy Time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sexy Time. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Celebrity Hotness Scale: Megan Fox



It's the age-old debate. How hot is a celebrity? I mean, really? The mere fact that a celebrity is a celebrity most likely guarantees a certain base-level of hotness. That much is a given. But then it gets complicated. This isn't the "would you hit it?" test. That test has no bearing in the celebrity hotness query. The real question is, "is this (in this case and in every case that will be discussed here) female celebrity worthy of all the attention being thrown her way?" The issue is highlighted with the newest "it" girl Megan Fox. I guess there's some other "it" girls right now but I don't watch "Twilight" so whatever. Now, Megan Fox is hot. You see this girl on the street she's a 10. But on the celebrity hotness scale I'm not seeing her actual hotness fall in line with what she's being credited for. I even saw that someone said she's the next Angelina Jolie in terms of being a universal sex symbol. Granted, I may have seen that on a homeless guys cardboard message sign but nevertheless. Me personally? I use a celebrity sliding hotness scale (because these are the things I come up with in my spare time) that takes into account their actual attractiveness and the fact that they are being sold to us as consumers as the ultimate in terms of sexiness and hotness. On my scale Ms. Fox is sitting at a solid 8. Guess what people, poll time. Adhering to the celebrity hotness scale how hot is Megan Fox?

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Ciara Is Not Not Hot






Hey when your album gets pushed backed like twelve times and ultimately ends up being pretty lackluster it helps to have a body like Ciara's. Niiiiiiiiice.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Record Set For Most Bad Puns In One News Segment



This is a news report from a model stampede that took place at the "America's Next Top Model" casting call here in New York. Oh to be on the street when the crazy stampede of models started. The shots of the high heels and head-shots are priceless. By the way, who the hell is yelling guns and bombs? Also, the "regular guy" collecting phone numbers and SSN, I totally know that guy. He's a bouncer that I've come across several times at events and just from going out. No word if he was just seizing the opportunity or actually working for the show. A lack of "model behavior" indeed.

*UPDATE*

Here's more video of the actual stampede. Awesome.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Rashida Jones

Rashida is an actress, model, singer, songwriter and writer. Fans of "The Office" might recognize her as Karen Filipelli. Not only is she super hot and talented she's also the daughter of legendary producer Quincy Jones. She's also Jewish. And best friends with Natalie Portman. Oh yeah and her sister, Kidada (pictured below), was engaged to Tupac. So pretty much this girl is freaking awesome. Here's a link to her wiki page so you can be further impressed.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Freida Pinto


Incredibly hot. I thought she was amazing in "Slumdog Millionaire" and she was sexy as hell at the Golden Globes but hot damn some of these pictures are insane.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Tyra Banks Show


This is hands down one of my favorite shows ever. Granted, I've only been watching it for a few weeks but my DVR is full of them. After a long hard day nothing helps me unwind more than watching me some Tyra. Now, at least 2/3 of you are thinking I've lost it. To you I say, watch the show. It is amazing. You see, Tyra has classic hot girl syndrome. Someone who is so ridiculously hot she gets away with being totally insane. It's understandable. Who is gonna tell Tyra she's acting a fool? No one, that's who. What makes the show so incredibly amazing is Tyra's impromptu outbursts. She has a repetoire of about 75 faces that she uses to perfection. She can also turn on the ghetto-talk like nobody's business. Plus she smiles with her eyes. Then there are the topics for the show. Just a few highlights I've seen. The "squashing" episode where 500+ lb women sit on men in some odd fetish that way too many dudes seemed to be into. The "growing-up gay in the hood" episode. The "real sex in the city" episode. The "fashionista to recessionista" episode. I mean I won't even try to do justice to these shows by re-capping them. The "Kardashians" episode was real special. Just to look at the audience members behind Tyra who had the most judgmental and hateful faces while looking at Khloe, Kim, and Kourtney. Priceless. Most people scoff when I tell them this show is good, then I make them watch it and I've yet to find a person who is not on board by the end of one episode. Oh and hell yeah I got tickets for October. It's gonna be awesome.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Disney


First, a moment of silence for how ridiculously awesome Megan Fox's ass is...........OK. Megan Fox recently came out and said how much she hates Disney because they manufacture these teen stars and then basically tell them what to do and ruin their lives. I'll be the first one to say I absolutely agree that Disney is evil and fucked up and Walt Disney was a Nazi sympathizer and they've given us Miley Cyrus and they could be a vortex of evil that will suck us into a deep abyss of soullessness. Also they're the number one leading cause of run-on sentences. Still, I have a special place in my heart for Disney. Look at all the great things they've given us:

  • Snow White
  • Pinocchio
  • Bambi
  • The Jungle Book
  • The Little Mermaid
  • Aladdin
  • The Lion King
I'm gonna be nice and just stop it there and those are just some of the animated gems. If you can't pick at least one of those movies and say it's brought you immeasurable amounts of joy you're a sick and twisted person. So while I'm torn with Megan Fox's correct statement and hot ass on the one side and awesome animated Disney movies on the other, I have to rule in Disney's favor. Sorry Megan.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Am I Gross For Wanting To Watch The Mini-Me Sex Tape?


Let's be clear. When a celebrity or anything close to a celebrity comes out with a sex-tape I watch it. Call it what you want, but I do it. It combines two things I enjoy thoroughly, celebrity gossip and porn. Just two of my many vices. So a few weeks ago it was revealed that Verne Troyer has a sex-tape with one of his ex-girlfriend(s). I clearly watched the preview that was released at the time. It was gross and weird and yeah I watched it more than once. Today comes news that the full tape is being sold on the internet. Obviously I'm not plunking down any money to see this monstrosity of a video but if I can find it for free I'm totally watching it. I can't even pinpoint exactly why I want to watch it but it's something deep inside my soul that needs to be satisfied. I'm not saying I'm going to get off to it (...) but I mean, I have to see this. His girl isn't even that cute either and he's barely even a celebrity but nevertheless I'm intrigued. In conclusion I'm a perv.

It's Official, Britney Is Hot Again


You may remember a few weeks ago I had a post up about how Britney was trying to get hot again. Well guess what? She did it. Against all odds she has returned to her pre-insanity form. I'm still kind of in awe. I mean, I said all along she could do it. She's just really sensitive and had a few bad breaks. Everyone can relate to that right? Not only that but she even won some VMA's (like that fucking means anything). "Piece of Me"me won for best female video. Personally, I stopped watching the VMA's like 10 years ago because I realized they sucked and they also had some weird drill music that year that made my head hurt, but still, good for her. So congratulations Britney, boners for everyone!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The RNC


I mean...what the hell is up with these guys? It's like a freaking cartoon. I think the Democrats suck too but I mean is it even up for debate that the Republicans are playing the role of the most sinister and evil organization ever? And Sarah Palin. Sarah fucking Palin. Has there ever been a more boneheaded or transparent VP choice ever in the history of veeps? I know everyone has heard about all the scandals at this point but let's do a quick recap:

- Hid pregnacy of Down Syndrome baby
- Fired her sisters' ex-husband from the police force because they had issues
- Her daughter Bristol (really?) is 7 months knocked up and unmarried
- Fiscally mismanaged Alaksa (presumably her strong point)

Duuuude. C'mon. I mean what's the deal here? She reminds me of the bitchy woman in charge of the PTA meetings. Some lady who thinks she's running some serious shit but in reality she's just a doofus in over her head. It's not even her fault really, it's just a horrible choice by McCain who is arguably running the worst campaign ever. Well except when Grover Cleveland ran on the "Baby's Are Overrated" platform. That in retrospect wasn't so smart. So here we have Barack Obama running a smooth stealthy campaign of suave excellence and the Republicans are just floundering. I actually saw today what they were up in arms about. Obama called Palin's town "Wasilly" instead of "Wasilla." What an asshole right? The super scary thing is is that they're still gonna be in it come November. You see, if you give the masses a choice between two similar options they get confused. This is why they put forth diametric opposites. You have to polarize the people to make them care. That's how this country works I guess, probably the world too. If everything were homogenized people wouldn't know what to do. So yeah, the Republicans are redonk.

Sidenote: How hot is Sarah Palin? I'm going 6.2/10. Just not into the whole housewife/sexy librarian look. Although that picture is fantastic. Poll.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama is kinda hot huh? Badonkadonk! Who knew. If you missed it she was the headline speaker at the opening of the DNC. She gave a helluva speech and looked good doing it. Granted, she came out to a Stevie Wonder song and was also played off to one so she could have said anything and I would have liked her, but she was pretty awesome. Well done Barack, well done.

Speech:



Here's what she came out to. Classic.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Marisa Tomei I Love You


I've had a crush on Marisa Tomei ever since I first saw "My Cousin Vinny." She's never let me down in any movie I've seen her in since. Oh by the way, she's 43 now and still getting it done. Apparently she's in some new movie called "The Wrestler." Cool. Just an excuse for me to pledge my undying love for her yet again.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Things You'll Learn: I'm Shallow

Yeah yeah art and music and culture that's cool that's cool. You know what else is cool? Kim Kardashian. I mean sure she's just a dark-skinned clone of Paris Hilton, sex-tape and all, and sure she could potentially be the end of civilization as we know it. She's even fucking Reggie Bush (loser central) and just generally seems to be a horrible person. But there's something about her that I just can't put my finger in, on, on, I meant on! Hmmmm, what could it be? Oh yeah, maybe it's her ridiculously awesome ass. Yup that's it. So here fellas (and ladies) for your viewing pleasure I present at the top of many persons hate-fuck lists, Kim Kardashian.


Monday, July 28, 2008

Is Britney Spears Getting Hot Again?


You remember that Britney? Yeah, me neither. But I do have a vague memory of her being smokingly hot. Then she popped out a few kids went a little insane attacked a car with an umbrella and shaved all her hair off. Since then she's had a rough go of things. She's probably not half as insane as people think she is but that's really not the issue. The issue is, recently Britney seems to be attempting to get hot again. I'm all for it, at her peak she was definitely up there in terms of all time hotness. I can't really think of too many other people who fell off as hard as she did. It just doesn't happen. So today I see some pictures of her and she's not looking that bad. I mean she's not at her "Slave 4 U" peak but she's definitely getting better. I think the world needs this right now. Here are her recent pics:
P.S. For anyone who hasn't checked it out her last album was actually pretty awesome.