Monday, June 22, 2009


Every so often a movie comes along that changes your life. This is one of those movies. To say it's unbelievable is an understatement. Just let the words of Roger Ebert do the talking,

"Knowing" is among the best science-fiction films I've seen -- frightening, suspenseful, intelligent and, when it needs to be, rather awesome.

The only part of that I'd disagree with is the entire statement. "Knowing" is hands down one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my entire life. And trust me, I've seen a lot of shitty fucking movies. To try to encapsulate just how bad this movie is, is truly impossible. The plot is simple enough. Nicolas Cage is an astro-physicist who's a single father. At his son's school they dig up a time capsule from 50 years prior. His son receives an envelope with all these numbers written on a piece of paper. Through divine intervention or maybe just a horrible screenplay Cage figures out that the numbers are prophetic. So on and so forth. Standard apocalyptic Hollywood nonsense. That alone is hardly grounds for calling it one of the worst movies ever. The thing about "Knowing" is that almost everything about it is bad. It's long, it's pedantic, it's forced, it's stupid, it's hackneyed pretty much any word you can think of to describe a horrible movie that's what it is. The last half-hour of the movie is truly unbelievable. It's just...I can't even describe. What I will say is if you really dislike somebody recommend that they watch this movie because I'm pretty sure they switched over to showing this to prisoners at Gitmo after they were forced to stop waterboarding people. I'll leave you with this highly accurate quote from Ty Burr of the Boston Globe:

It's a Nicolas Cage movie, so, admit it, you're expecting crazy. You have no idea.

Official Hard Peaches rating: .1/10


This is how I felt right after watching "Knowing" minus the remote "stuff."

"Do you want me to hate my life!?"

1 comment:

Bitch Pleeze said...

The only thing Nicholas Cage Knows how to do is make me want to barf blood