Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing today to express my feeling that you are hands down, by far the worst cable company in the history of cable companies. Let me preface this by saying I have dealt with no less than 4 different cable companies the past several years. Therefore, I feel I have the experience and knowledge to back up my claim. Here are several reasons why you are the worst:
Firstly, why would you not offer NFLN? I don't care about MLBTV or NBATV. Those sports are garbage and I'd gladly trade 100 of my channels for NFLN. I don't care what the details are get your thumbs out of your collective asses and fix this.
Second, how the fuck are you gonna charge me $40 to come pick up my cable box because it's broken. I didn't break it, you gave me a shitty cable box and now you want to charge me to come and pick it up? I really hate you.
Third, why are you the only cable company that I can get? I live in NYC and you're telling me I only have one choice when it comes to cable? This is insane? Everywhere else I have ever lived there are at least two choices when it comes to cable providers. I don't know who's D you're S'ing but I hope you get VD.
In summation, you're the worst and I hope terrible things happen to you.