Oscar Predictions

The 81st Academy Awards are tonight at 8pm EST. That's 5pm PST. I'm good at math. And also still kinda drunk from yesterday. That being said, let me murder the fuck out of these Oscar predictions. We all know how I savagely destroyed the Grammy's and I'm even more confident in these predictions. Without further ado here are my Oscar picks:

Actor in a Leading Role

Nominees: Richard Jenkins, Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, Frank Langella, Mickey Rourke

Expected Winner: Mickey Rourke

Who Should Win: Mickey Rourke

Synopsis: As much as I would love to give this one to Richard Jenkins (he was awesome) Mickey Rourke absolutely killed it in "The Wrestler." All of these performances were really strong but I gotta go Mickey here. Sean Penn could also win this but I don't think anyone really saw that movie. Sidenote: If Brad Pitt or "Benjamin Button" wins anything it's a muffugin joke.

Actor in a Supporting Role

Nominees: Josh Brolin, Robert Downey Jr., Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Heath Ledger, Michael Shannon

Expected Winner: Heath Ledger

Who Should Win: Heath Ledger

Synopsis: With all the hype surrounding Heath Ledger's death it's easy to overlook the fact that he delivered a helluva performance in "The Dark Knight." Phillip Seymour Hoffman was pretty fucking awesome too but I think Ledger deserves the posthumous nod.

Actress in a Leading Role

Nominees: Anne Hathaway, Angelina Jolie, Melissa Leo, Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet

Expected Winner: Meryl Streep

Who Should Win: Kate Winslet

Synopsis: Very hard to go against Streep but "The Reader" was one of my favorite movies this go around. She gets naked in it and really draws you in to her character from the start. I'll be honest, I didn't see "Frozen River" so I don't know how Melissa Leo did but Hathaway and Jolie were also pretty strong.

Actress in a Supporting Role

Nominees: Marisa Tomei, Amy Adams, Penelope Cruz, Taraji P. Henson, Viola Davis

Expected Winner: Taraji P. Henson

Who Should Win: Marisa Tomei

Synopsis: Ok, Ok, this is a total sentimental vote from me. I am unabashed about my love for Marisa Tomei. I thought she did a great job and was easily as good as anyone in this category. Now here's the X-Factor. I think for how "epic" "Benjamin Button" was they have to throw it an Oscar in a meaningful category. Taraji was very good but I really think everyone else with the exception of Viola Davis (she was barely in the movie for fucks sake) dwarfed her performance. This is definitely a tough category.

Directing

Nominees: The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk, The Reader, Slumdog Millionaire

Expected Winner: Slumdog Millionaire

Who Should Win: Slumdog Millionaire

Synopsis: This one is just a three-horse race. Button and Nixon were just not up to snuff in this one at all. Hey, yes it's super-hyped but Slumdog was a really good movie and even if the direction was a little heavy-handed it still was the best in this category.

Music (Score)

Nominees: The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, Defiance, Milk, Slumdog Millionaire, Wall-E

Expected Winner: Slumdog Millionaire

Who Should Win: Slumdog Millonaire

Synopsis: C'mon let's be real Slumdog is 2/3 of the original song category. I didn't see Defiance but gotta figure Slumdog takes home the hardware in this one.

Best Picture

Nominees: The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk, The Reader, Slumdog Millionaire

Expected Winner: Slumdog Millionaire

Who Should Win: Slumdog Millionaire

Synopsis: It's a foregone conclusion right? Also, I think I figured out why Button was nominated for so many Oscars. They didn't want to hurt Brad Pitts' feelings completely so they gave him the pre-Oscar contentment with all the nods. I'd hate to be in the orphanage him and Angelina Jolie call home after this dude realizes he was in a 2 hour plus movie where he talked in one of the most ridiculous "accents" ever captured on film.

Other Predicted Winners:

Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire

Sound Mixing: The Dark Knight

Sound Editing: The Dark Knight

Costume Design: The Duchess