Monday, February 23, 2009

Oscars: The Breakdown

You know sometimes I just say stuff. Clearly, I didn't "murder/annihilate/destroy" the Oscars like people had claimed I would. It's cool, you know you win some and you lose some. First off I'd like to point out (and I can and in no way "prove" this) but I really wanted to pick Penelope Cruz for Best Supporting Actress. I didn't for two reasons. The first being how long ago I saw "Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona." It was a long time ago! The second is that I was convinced that they were going to give Benjamin Button something besides editing and cinematography. They didn't and good move because that movie sucked. And the third reason which I didn't mention up there is because Marisa Tomei is fucking amazing and they should just give her an honorary Oscar every year. So the night got off to a bad start. Let's see what else I fucked up. Well, I got Best Actress wrong because I picked Meryl Streep but I thought they would just pander. Note that I did think Kate Winslet gave the best performance in "The Reader." I got cinematography wrong but whatever that's lame. Everything else I picked I got right, maybe I fucked up sound mixing or some shit but whatever. Totally nailed Costume Design though!

As for the actual show. Um...holy shit the Oscars are fucking boring. Hugh Jackman came out of the closet last night and we established that Kate Winslet is constantly out of breath. What else? Oh yeah, A.R. Rahman the composer who scored and wrote original songs for "Slumdog Millionaire" is the weirdest "performer" ever. He just stood on stage and awkwardly gyrated for the entire performance of "Jai Ho" which also curiously featured John Legend who looked as confused as anyone as to why he was on the stage. I understand that people who write music usually have a secret passion to get on stage themselves but sometimes you just have to look at yourself and go, "I have no stage presence whatsoever. In fact I believe I have negative stage presence." Still, beautiful music from Mr. Rahman who's name makes me want Ramen noodles even though it's not spelled the same. Performance below.

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