Monday, March 23, 2009

For The Love Of Ray J Recap...Danger Thinks You Bake Pancakes

Hey, first off this was a great episode huh? Drama, intrigue, Unique being a huge bitch, this show had it all. Let's go in order. So, Danger thought you're supposed to bake pancakes. I mean, listen, I understand if you're not a good cook that's cool ladies some people just never learned. But I thought people were born with the knowledge of how to make a fucking pancake. I'll give you a hint in case you stumbled over to this magic machine and also somehow know how to read: YOU MAKE A PANCAKE IN A PAN. Still that doesn't really affect how I feel about Danger. She did what no one else had the balls or brains to do and that's call out horrible, horrible Unique.

It was a great idea to make these girls cook with kids in the kitchen. Let me tell you something about kids, yeah they're cute and can say really unintentionally funny things a lot of the time but holy shit kids are fucking annoying. Seeing how the girls handled that was an awesome idea. Cocktail actually shot up in my book mainly because of this challenge. Sure, she's still a spy but she showed she works well with kids and kids can usually spot a fraud. Probably a key factor as to why Unique decided to bail out of the kitchen to be the hostess and subsequently steal Danger and Feisty's charity tips. Have I mentioned how Unique is the worst? Anyways, the Blue team (which consisted of Chardonnay, Unique and Cocktail) won because Unique cheated and then the kids voted Cocktail the best which won her a one on one date. Nothing doing there except Cocktail made some strides and also ratted out Feisty as a "party girl."

Feisty turning out to be not just a fun party girl but a raging alcoholic was kind of a no brainer. I feel bad for Feisty because she's really a nice cute girl but I think she's a little too young to take this competition seriously? Did I just type that? Anyways it's probably good she went I don't know if I could take any more "reelly reelly's" to be honest. Now on to Unique...

Let's sum up Unique in Danger's own words, "She's evil, vindictive, she's fat, she smells funny and she's mean." Amen Danger, Amen. Hey Unique, next time you're trying to prove someone else is psychotic it's probably best to not yell and scream like a mental patient when trying to make said point. Her predicted breakdown came but somehow she survived it. I think Ray J saw enough to decide that she should eventually leave but he let her stick around a little longer. Danger read this girl like a book. She went up confronted her calmly and let Unique dig her own grave. Hook line and sinker. What scares the shit out of me is how Unique gets Danger to crack next week with her horribleness. If Unique gets Danger off this show I swear I will so write VH1 a stern letter expressing my displeasure. Power rankings:

Week 8 Power Rankings

1. Danger - The teaser showed some vulnerability. That's a good thing.

2. Cocktail - Hey, Cocktail despite being a huge spy kinda knows how to be a good person. It's too bad she uses that knowledge to narc on everyone else.

3. Chardonnay - I like Chardonnay a lot. She's been playing it cool but as long as she dances at least once an episode I think she deserves to stick around.

4. Unique - I have no words for her awfulness.

Profile of the Week



-Socially Intelligent


-Potential homicidal tendencies


Danger is easily the most interesting of the contestants. She's definitely insane, has a tattoo on her face and pretty much has been in control of the entire show since she slept with Ray J really early on. She's also by far the smartest girl in a social sense. Even though the teaser shows Danger cracking a little bit I think that will ultimately endear her even more to Ray J which in turn will lead to Unique's downfall. Fingers crossed.

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