Monday, September 15, 2008

Charlotte's Web

For some random reason after the Dolphins lost yesterday (shhhhh) the theme song to Charlotte's Web came into my head (which is extremely eerie and disturbing). Then I started thinking about how fucked up this book/movie actually is. One of my friends came over and we started discussing all the horrible life lessons "Charlotte's Web" instills in children. First off, they're gonna kill Wilbur. If not for Fern who saves him that runt was going down. Ok, so tragedy averted with Buttermilk Baths for all. Wilbur learns to do a few tricks and he's Zuckerman's famous pig, hooray! Towards the end it becomes apparent that Charlotte is going to die. I can still hear Wilbur's tormented pleas telling her, "You can't die Charlotte, you just can't!' She dies. Also, Fern, who saved Wilbur doesn't even give a shit about him anymore. She starts getting interested in boys. What kind of effed up message is that? When you're young and cute people will like you but when you get older you turn into a fat pig and whoever loved you leaves you? Jesus. E.B. White is a sick sick man. Templeton was still the fucking man/rat though, orgasbord orgasbord.

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